Weight Watchers: the never-ending story

My family at Disneyland in December 2012 from left: son-in-law Patrick, daughter  Allison,
 daughter Megan, son-in-law Christopher, husband Jim, and my chubby self.
 Charlotte is in front doing some weird shoulder thing. I'm going to use this as my "before" picture.

I'm back at Weight Watchers. Again.

Actually, this is the 41st year of my association with that organization. I started back when I didn't actually have enough weight to lose to qualify for the program. Used to be, if you didn't have 20 or 25 pounds to lose (I can't remember), you had to have a note from your doctor.

So I got my family physician to write me a letter saying my health would improve if I lost 18 pounds. Now, all these years later, I would kill to only have 20 pounds to lose. I'm far, far away from that and have been since I had children.

I like to tease my daughters that they ruined my figure. I had just dieted my way into a size 11 when I got pregnant. I still have that dress that I wore to a friend's wedding, just to prove to myself that it actually happened. I quit smoking as soon as I found out I was pregnant, so I attribute about 30 pounds of the weight gain to that. I eventually was 70 pounds overweight when I delivered.

The truth is, I was never thin. I was a chubby child, which never bothered me until I hit sixth-grade and became aware that other people were judging me. I was wearing go-go boots and hip-hugger skirts, and though I looked fantastic. Developing self-consciousness is a bitch. From that early 1960s realization on, never a day went by that I didn't worry about how I looked or mourn how fat I was.

In junior high and high school, it was only 20 pounds too many, but it seemed like 100. Now, I mourn all the hours I spent worrying about those measly 20 pounds, especially when I know exactly how bad it can get.

I know I'm insane for going public with this, because announcing you're on a diet usually dooms you to failure. Consider Kirstie Alley, Wynonna Judd, Carnie Wilson. They make public pronouncements, then fall off the wagon and end up packing the pounds back on. I've sat next to enough gastric-bypass patients in WW meetings to know that's not a silver bullet, either.

In Weight Watcher meetings, I'm a pain in the ass. I crack jokes and quote so many Alcoholic Anonymous slogans that members must think I'm in recovery. Think about it, those slogans are applicable to many endeavors in life: One Day at a Time, Easy Does It, Keep it Simple Stupid, and my favorite, It Works if you Work It.

Pretty much any plan works if you work it, but WW works better than others. I've lost 23 pounds since I started about eight weeks ago. I'm doing water aerobics three times a week at the gym. I feel better and have a lot more energy.

The plan is much better than it was in the late 60s and early 70s when I started. A woman found some Weight Watcher recipe cards from 1974 in her mother's basement, including many for mackerel, and put them on the internet with some very funny comments. Back then, the plan was based on the diabetic exchange program. We used to talk about eating "boxes" because each food group had little squares after it that stood for one unit of that food.

The program back then called for you to eat a certain amount of tuna and liver every week. I was okay with the tuna, but I'd rather be fat the rest of my life than eat liver. Just the smell of it makes me want to retch. Seriously, when we have iron supplements, why would anyone eat that disgusting stuff? My dad liked it, but he had to order liver and onions in restaurants, so we didn't have to cook it at home.

This time, I really believe I'm going all the way, because I'm scared. Fear is a fantastic motivator. Every single health problem I have would be eliminated or made better by losing weight and a better diet: bad knees, acid reflux, sleep apnea, and high blood pressure. I'm not getting any younger, and I want to be able to run after Charlotte and her soon-to-be born baby brother.

I always had people who loved me and found me attractive at any size, and the weight never stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do, but I had to overcome a degree of humiliation. Like having to wear a man's wetsuit and fold up the legs and sleeves because I was too fat to fit into a woman's version. The same thing happened in fencing: my fencing jacket sleeves practically hung to my calves because I had to wear a man's size.

Many of the health habits I acquired from Weight Watchers stuck with me in-between the times I actually was working the program. I almost always substituted something for fries when eating out, and I never eat hamburgers. But birthday cake is my bete noire; I will scrape off the buttercream icing and eat it with a spoon.

If I don't arrive early enough to my Tuesday night meeting I won't get a seat because of all the New Year's resolution newcomers. I wish them the best, but I know from my years of experience, that the herd will be considerably thinner by Easter. With any luck, I'll still be there, learning how to avoid my Easter temptations: chocolate-covered marshmallow bunnies, and yellow Peeps.

Then the pre-bathing-suit crowd will show up at meetings, and for once, looking for a suit might not be the tremendous ordeal it has been in the past. By then, I should be considerably smaller. I am resigned to the fact that like alcoholics, I'm never going to be done with meetings. Maybe I'll apply to be a leader when I get to goal, since I have to be there anyway. Might as well get paid for it.

Tacos at a filling station and another, better, used bookstore

The front window of Book Alley, 1252 E. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, 91106,
an amazing used bookstore that is a browser's delight.

Even though last weekend was supposed to be the book trip, we found a used bookstore on Saturday that has all the Hollywood places beat: Book Alley, in Pasadena. We had tickets for Noises Off, at the A Noise Within theater, and my husband Jim (the cruise director and master of the revels) thought that we should hit this bookstore he had read about in his research for a recent newspaper story.

Jim in the children's section at Book Alley.

In case you forgot that the New Year's Rose Parade goes down Colorado Blvd., the remains of Silly String on the road and sidewalks are a colorful reminder. Spraying Silly String became illegal in 1992 with a city ordinance, but lots of people remain scofflaws.

We parked on a side street, and the neon green, pink and blue stains got more Jackson Pollock-like the closer we got to Colorado. We noticed a place with sidewalk umbrellas the block behind the store, and made a note to check it out for lunch.

Book Alley's welcoming entrance immediately placed it well above the places we saw last week. I hadn't been in it but a few minutes, when I whispered to my husband: "I love this place!" There were lots of interesting books faced out on easels that drew me in, but also books stacked on the floor.

In fact, it's the perfect combination of organization and clutter, much like my own systems. The shelves are arranged into categories and alphabetized, but there are books on the floor, on the counters — hell, on every flat surface. The lady who helped us said it wasn't usually that messy, they were doing a reorganization, but that's my excuse to drop-in guests, too.

Don't you just want to know
what's in those stacks?

If you want something specific (Jim was looking for John Fante), you can find it, but there is enough randomness in other parts of the store to satisfy the bibliophile's urge to root around and seek out titles you didn't know you needed until you see it.

Another wonderful touch for English majors is that they file biographies and literary analyses right with the author's work, which makes for some wonderful discoveries. For $15, I picked up Feasting with Panthers: A New Consideration of Some Late Victorian Writers, by Rupert Croft-Cooke, written in 1967.

I must admit that this examination of how Charles Swinburne, John Addington Symonds and Oscar Wilde "made a cult out of their own sexual idiosyncrasies" appealed to my prurient fascination. But I've read a number of more mannered biographies about Wilde, including one that argued he was a better Catholic than anyone supposed, so I feel entitled.

They were out of Ask the Dust (it is Fante's best-known work), but they did have Dreams of Bunker Hill, so Jim bought that. I bought a first edition of Falling Man, by Don DeLillo, for $5, probably because the reviews were lukewarm. I figure that DeLillo, who was a 21st century author well before the millennium, was the ideal man to write about 9/11, about which I haven't read any fiction. The critics probably wanted another White Noise, and what author has more than one of those in him or her?

This cabinet has drawers of programs,
guide books, and other cool
ephemera for sale.

The store has more books than you see on the selling floor; they also have a huge space that I can only suppose is a staging area for books before they put them out on the shelf. The nice lady helping us gave a peek into this room, and just looking at the floor to ceiling shelves and piles upon piles of books gave me an overwhelmed feeling.

I was glad to get back to the less-chaotic sales floor. When we checked out, I found a stack of old children's books on the counter waiting to be priced, including a facsimile reprint of a book my mother had when she was a child, Four Little Puppies.

Her copy was a 1936 original, but it had crayon markings on every page. Whether she or her younger brother did the enhancing, I can't say, but I loved it as a child, and was happy to pay $4 for the new edition.

The Coca-Cola wonderland that is Norma's Tacos,
a block off Colorado right behind Book Alley.

Book Alley had some of the other titles in the series, featuring cats and bunnies dressed up in clothes doing things normal families do: kids play in the yard, mom cooks in the kitchen, and dad sits in his chair smoking a pipe. Really cute stuff if you don't think about it too hard.

I fear for all bookstores these days, but Book Alley has an online component, which might help them beat the odds. If you are looking for something specific, you can go to their website, search for it and buy it online. Now that I have discovered them, I never want them to close, and I regret every dime I spent at Cosmopolitan.

We went back to the joint on the corner we had spied, which turned out to be Norma's Tacos, a walk-up taqueria made out of a vintage gas station. I don't know if the red and silver pumps are the same ones as when it dispensed gasoline, but it is really charming. The food is fantastic, and reasonably priced, especially important if you've just blown your wad on books. I had carne asada tacos, which were great, but I regretted not getting the tacos with crispy potatoes inside. Ah well, next time.

The combo of Book Alley, Comics Factory (just a few doors down from Book Alley, where Jim bought Fatale, a new noir comic book), Norma's Tacos, and a matinee at A Noise Within made for a satisfying Pasadena outing away from the bustle of downtown. It could be a reasonably priced excursion, depending on how well you can control your book habit.

World-famous martinis, books, books, and more books

Manny, Musso and Frank's bartender, pouring one of their famous martinis.

I walked back from Musso and Frank's ladies room yesterday and whispered in my husband's ear, "There are only two stalls in there."
"Yeah, and?" he replied.
"That means there's a 50% chance that I just used the same stall as Dorothy Parker."
His raucous laugh made more than a few patrons look around.

S.Z. Sakall, also known as Cuddles.
Doesn't he resemble Manny?
Manny sounds a little like him, too.

It was a nostalgic kind of day. We had been in the bar where we drank Musso and Frank's signature martinis, and now we were having lunch. Manny the bartender, has been stirring up the iconic cocktails since 1984.

I had heard people rave about the restaurant's martinis, so for once, I didn't call for Bombay Sapphire, my favorite gin. I wanted to have the whole Musso and Frank's experience, to have a cocktail the way they've been making them for years, just like the ones they made for Fitzgerald, Chandler, Parker, Hemingway, and all the other writers who have drunk, fought, recovered from hangovers, and oh, yeah, written there.

We climbed onto barstools, and I was disconcerted by my reflection in the bar mirror. I forgot that old-fashioned bars have huge mirrors running the length of them. Manny the bartender approached, and I told we wanted his famous martinis.

He searched our faces, and said, "You know our martinis are made with gin, right?"

I felt wounded. Didn't I look like a martini drinker?
"Is there any other kind?"was my reply. His smile brightened, and he bustled about making our drinks.

This is how your martini will arrive; the little
carafe is the rest of your drink. Kinda like
milkshakes at Bob's Big Boy.

The only martinis are gin martinis. That is an article of faith so strong with me that even people who know little about me know it. Nothing pisses me off faster than to order a martini and have the bartender ask, "Gin or vodka?"

You can put vodka in a martini glass, spike it with an olive or onion, and even splash a little vermouth in there, but that doesn't make it a martini. If you ask for a martini, you should get gin. If you want vodka, order a vodka martini. Gin drinkers were here first. Manny told us that he had to start asking, because people (probably young people) were ordering martinis and sending them back because they wanted vodka.

He poured Gordons gin into a glass cocktail shaker, added the vermouth and stirred. Manny said, "Some people say, hold the vermouth. I put a little in anyway." Of course, because otherwise, that's just gin in a glass. They stir martinis at Musso and Frank's because they think it waters down your drink to shake it.



The presentation is lovely: Manny lines up the glasses and carafes, then makes a big show of pouring equal amounts in each glass. He goes back and forth a few times, evening up the amounts, saying, "This way, there will be no arguments."

The Central Library's rotunda, with its stained glass globe chandelier
and murals depicting the opening of the West.

The rest he pours into the carafes, and later will come by to fill our glasses. Ah yes, a full-service bartender.
The drink can't be faulted: the olives come with toothpicks in them so you don't have to fish them out with your fingers (believe me, I will, and have). It is impeccably mixed, presented, and poured, and only costs $9.50. There's only one problem: it's still just Gordons gin.

My husband loved it, but he's not a dyed-in-the-wool gin drinker, like me. Let me put it this way: when you're drinking a martini, it's pure alcohol. So the gin matters. I don't order martinis in some places because they don't know how to make them, and even in places I do order them, I'll drink something else if I can't get Bombay or Hendricks gin.

So now I've had the Musso and Frank's experience: next time I'll call for Bombay, and then it will be a perfect martini.

The atrium joins the old and new wings of the library,
 with whimsical chandeliers.

The unremarkable lunch (the wedge salad made me yearn for the Lemon Leaf's) was the mid-part of our day, which began at the Central Library, and continued at bookstores. The library is amazing; I take my students there, and I had never seen the fabulous things I saw on this tour. Our guide was a sweet little lady named Selma, who was knowledgeable, and liked to give us little quizzes. She was amused by the rivalry between me and my husband when it came to answering questions. In the final tally, he was more observant than me, dammit.

Then it was off to Larry Edmunds, which specializes in books on film, television, and the stage, where I found a German Expressionist poster for the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and the owner bitched at us because we wandered upstairs, where his office is. (We didn't know, he forgot to put his rope up across the stairs.)

I wander though the amazing mess of Cosmopolitan,
the bookstore seen in the Ewan McGregor
film Beginners, feeling like Indiana Jones.

We really wanted to see Cosmopolitan, the bookstore shown in the movie Beginners, with Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer and some delectable French woman, shot in some of my favorite locations in Los Angeles, like the Biltmore hotel.

The owner is a slightly irascible old man, who, when he dies, will take this place with him. The prices are too high, and I felt like Indiana Jones maneuvering though the stacks and stacks of books that threaten to fall on you, but it was an adventure.

I found a hysterical book about real notes that English flatmates have written to one another, with the author's funny comments on the opposing page. That being said, the title, I Lick My Cheese, needs no explanation.

I also overpaid for a book of photographs by Doisneau, who captured ordinary Parisians on the street in the 1950s. We know him best from his black and white series of couples kissing, that got turned into posters.

In the end, I think I overpaid because I wanted the books, he had them, and now I can say I patronized him, much like I can now say I had lunch at Musso and Frank's, even though the food wasn't great. My husband was rather taken with the "charm" of this store, but when I think about it, the reason I didn't like it so much is that books should be treated better than this, in my opinion.

If you are a book lover, you'd be appalled by the way books are piled on every conceivable surface, crammed into every corner, and never dusted in this place. I couldn't see the owner at the cash wrap, because of the stacks on books on the counter. It was almost comical. Maybe my former identity as a bookstore manager was screaming inside me.

On the other hand, my husband kissed me in an aisle featured in the film, and whispered, "Ewan McGregor stood right here."

Yeah, that was worth the trip.

Welcome, 2012!

This may look festive, but don't let that fool you: I didn't even drink on New Year's Eve.

So— the first day of 2012.

Since I am a white Anglo Saxon Protestant of mixed indeterminate ancestry on one side, and Irish on the other, I wasn't raised with any New Year's traditions.

I used to make Hoppin' John on the first day of the new year, but as any Southerner can tell you, the best stuff is made with a shocking amount of bacon grease. Since I started back to Weight Watchers a few months ago, that ain't happening. It was a borrowed tradition, anyway.

I just looked up the Irish traditions, and they aren't too difficult. The first person to cross your threshold on New Year's has a special significance. You want it to be a tall, handsome dark-haired man for good luck, apparently. Since I'm happily married, I'm not sure why I'd want that.

Princess Merida, the latest Disney princess, from Brave,
a new Pixar movie. I'm not sure I can forgive them for trying
 to cast Reese Witherspoon, but thankfully, she was busy.
Merida is voiced by a true Scotswoman, Kelly MacDonald.

If your first threshold-crosser is a red-haired woman, that's bad luck. Guess I'd better not cross my own doorstep. According to some versions, that's because people considered gingers to be witches.

Come to think of it, maybe that's where the British prejudice about red-haired people came from. They tease them unmercifully, and discriminate against them. Not even Prince Harry is immune.

I don't find ginger men to be particularly appealing, but a strawberry-blonde girl with a sprinkling of freckles on her nose? Adorable. I can't wait to see the latest Disney princess movie, Brave.

A princess who is a crack archer, and rides a horse like she was born on one? Awesome! Now we have a princess to emulate besides Belle, from Beauty and the Beast. We really only liked her because she was a bookworm, and didn't really fall for the Beast until she saw his library.

But I digress. Apparently, the Irish clean their houses form top to bottom for New Year's. Well, that ain't happening either, but I did clean out my upstairs closet.

My friend told me that one New Year's prediction is that what you do on that day will determine what you will do the rest of the year. So at least, I organized one closet.

Our day started out at Dillard's, to take advantage of their big sale. The place was a madhouse; apparently, women wait all year long for the big Coach purse sale. They had their own line, clearly marked. We were there to buy dress shirts and ties for my husband. We bought six shirts, two ties, a belt and slippers for around $300. Not too shabby. So, I guess I will be saving (and spending) money all year.

Then we did our laundry, and washed all those shirts. If I thought I was going to get out of doing laundry all year,  I was sadly mistaken. So, laundry's going to happen in 2012.

Prime Desert Woodlands, January 1, 2012.

We took a long walk at Prime Desert Woodlands, so maybe I'm going to spend more time in nature this year. That would be good. Actually, the older I get, the better I appreciate the outdoors.

It was late afternoon, my favorite time of day, and we exchanged holiday greetings with lots of nice folks. It's a very peaceful atmosphere out there, you don't feel like you're right in the middle of lots of houses.

I also baked low-fat apple cinnamon muffins, so I might do more baking in 2012. I don't know why, since I can't eat most baked goods. I did make a pretty healthful dinner, and I know that will continue.

I talked to family on the phone, which I definitely will keep doing. I'd like to get together with family and friends more this year, and I always want to do more entertaining.

I'm writing this column, and I really want to do more writing in the coming year. I couldn't get to it the last few weeks, and I hated that.

So those are my predictions for the new year. There's still time left before midnight for me to get some other things done, if you know what I mean.

I hope 2012 will be a better year. Last year wasn't a terrible year for me, but there's always room for improvement. Of course, if the 2012 doom-sayers are right, and the world ends, 2011 is going to look pretty good about then, right?

I hope you have a wonderful, prosperous New Year!

Christmas: Bearing down like a freight train

Sisters, one blonde and one brunette, were a common theme in
 Victorian Christmas ephemera. As it happens,  that's exactly
what my daughters are, so I collect them. 

The familiar journalists' claim that they write better under pressure is pure bunk. The truth is, for many of us, it's the only way we start writing, when the deadline is breathing down our necks like Malificent in her more reptilian form.

My students say that same thing, and when they turn in papers that get returned with a big fat "C", they understand that working on deadline isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Our nine-foot Noble fir. 

The deadline for this blog is self-imposed, but I take it very seriously, and the fact that I haven't posted for a couple of weeks makes me sad. No one pays me, so I can't get in trouble for blowing my deadline, but I appreciate that people read it and expect it to be here on Sundays.

I have had two weeks of a killer cold, giving finals, grading papers, and posting grades, along with a previously scheduled all-day outing with Charles Phoenix, and I just couldn't make time to blog.

Truth be told, I shouldn't be blogging now. My apartment is a gawd-awful mess, my daughter and her husband are coming to stay with us tomorrow, and I'm not finished shopping. But I've realized something, that writing isn't something I do for other people; I actually love to do it, and I've missed it.

So, now I am ready to take on the last deadline of 2011 — Christmas. Oh, I know what you're saying, I only have four days left, I'd better hurry, what was I thinking, etc.

But we do have a tree, and thanks to my husband, we actually got some cards out. He went out and bought them, wrote thoughtful notes in each one, and all I had to do was sign my name. He's a God-send, really. Then, determined to wrestle Christmas to the ground, he insisted we go out and get our tree.

The big fight every year would be
who got to hang the ballerina.

As I've written before, Christmas is all about the tree for me. If I had no presents, no turkey, no candy canes, no cookies or eggnog, as long as I had my tree, I would be perfectly happy.  Even though the ritual changes from year to year, the ornaments stay the same.

I love all kinds of holiday trees, and I can appreciate the beauty of trees done in all one color scheme, for example. My favorite one are done in white, crystal and silver, or in all Victorian colors: that combination of burgundy, pink and gold. But when it comes to my house, I want my traditional Noble fir, white lights,  and ornaments I've had and collected for years.

Every year, I buy Hallmark ornaments for my family and one or two for my tree. Hallmark incorporates a lot of pop-culture and historical events into their work, so I have a commemorative Neil Armstrong that hangs on the tree and gives his famous moon landing speech when you press the button.

Near Neil hangs a space shuttle, with the bay doors open. An astronaut hangs overhead, repairing a satellite. My kids think these are dumb, and have nothing to do with Christmas. Maybe not, but I'm the daughter of an aerospace engineer, so I love aviation related things.

The horse actually changes color!

I have multiple Alice in Wonderland ornaments, and Disney features large: Snow White looking into a mirror, Sleeping Beauty's castle, and a 50th anniversary of Disneyland. We used to see the Nutcracker every year, so that is represented in different ways, including a Sugar Plum Fairy that always a point of contention about who got to hang her on the tree.

The Horse of a Different Color with Dorothy and her gang hangs on the tree, and I hear the cabbie from Oz give his spiel every time I plug in the lights. Rhett Butler and Scarlet O'Hara embrace as Atlanta burns in the background, prompting my husband to make this goofy video. 

There are ornaments with my kids' photos in them, and crocheted snowflakes my sister made and stiffened with starch. Some belonged to my parents when they were first married, and I rescued them from the trash when my mother deemed them too tatty for her tree. They are definitely worn, but I love them.

Possibly my favorite is the light-up box office and marquee of a theater playing "It's a Wonderful Life." Another bulb has George and Mary embracing from that final scene.

I guess I should really write down where all these things came from, and whether or not they have special significance. Now I'm getting older, I'm thinking about the stories I want to leave behind. There are so many people who have passed on without me finding out everything I wanted to about them.

Well, I'd better go. You can't see what kind of wood my table is for all the paper covering it, and I've got Christmas errands to run. Have a great holiday, and I'll be seeing you soon. Before you go, leave me a comment and tell me what you favorite Christmas ornament is.

The Muppets redux, with Charlotte

They're back! The new Muppet Movie, co-written by and starring Jason  Segel,
shown above with Amy Adams and the gang.

The holidays have always gone hand in hand with the movies in my family.

Not so much in my family of origin: my mother never goes to the movies, yet watches the Academy Awards every year and complains that she didn't see any of these films, so why is she watching this dumb show? My dad used to go to the movies as an outing.

My dad would say: "Do you want to go to the movies?" My mom would ask what was playing. He'd say, "Who cares; do you want to go to the movies or not?" The last film I saw with my dad was Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. I thought he'd like to see how far special effects have come. It turns out you don't have to be a Star Wars fan to hate Episode I. Who knew?

But in the family I raised, we went to the movies as often as we could afford it, as soon as the kids were old enough. Man, I saw a lot of crap with them. Some craptastic standouts were Mousehunt, about a rodent outsmarting Nathan Lane; Airborne, about a California teenage surfer forced to live with relatives in Cincinnati (in winter!), starring Seth Green; and Center Stage, about young, good-looking hopefuls trying to get into the American Ballet Academy in New York.

It seemed that we ended up at the movies every Thanksgiving and Christmas day, usually after we'd taken relatives' checks to the ATM so we could afford it. It was our family's time together after dealing with our extended family, which was sometimes contentious and stressful.

Charlotte with her kid's pack of movie treats
and a Mickey Mouse lollipop she came in with.
Megan Hernandez photo

I know lots of other people go to the movies on holiday weekends, so I was apprehensive about getting a seat for The Muppet Movie on Saturday, our first theater visit with Charlotte. I made my husband leave the house about 40 minutes early, only to encounter a nearly empty parking lot. I felt a little foolish.

We were the first people in the theater, but eventually enough people showed up to make it a communal experience.

Charlotte has been to the "moobies" before, to see Tangled, Winnie the Pooh and Puss in Boots, but we had never been with her. My daughter posted on Facebook that she had Christmas shopped for Charlotte in the Disney Store right under her nose because the two-year-old was entranced with the huge screen, and we saw a little of that in action.

It's like she is in a spell with a screen in front of her. They arrived after we had sat down, and the whole time my daughter is taking off Charlotte's coat and putting her in the booster seat, the tot never took her eyes off the screen playing commercials. It's rather disturbing.

I knew that my daughters were going to be big movie fans early on. When I put on a VHS of Disney's Bedknobs and Broomsticks one day, my older daughter saw Robert Stevenson's name on the credits, and said, "Oh, he directed Mary Poppins." She was about 7. We watched a lot of Turner Classic Movies in our house, but when colorized ones came on, we adjusted the set to watch them in black and white.

My son-in-law is a video editor, with a degree in film from San Francisco State; I guess it was kismet that he and my daughter would find each other. He has his heart set on Charlotte going to USC, so maybe it will be USC Film School. Chris is the big Muppet fan in the family, by the way. He owns complete seasons of the Muppet television show on DVD.

If you ask Charlotte what her daddy does, from the time she could talk she would say, "Daddy go work; press buttons." When he has to work on weekends, sometimes he'll take his little family with him, and let Charlotte sit on his lap and press buttons. That might be why she has no problem working anything mechanical at my house.

Jason Segel, the Muppet fan who helped bring the new
Muppet Movie to life, with Kermit and Miss Piggy. The fans
 are saying that the film was made by "the right people,"
who love the original and wanted to see it done right.

The film is adorable, heartfelt,  and laugh-out-loud funny. The Muppets' biggest fan Walter (who apparently hasn't looked in the mirror and discovered that he is a Muppet), overhears a evil oil baron saying he is going to tear down the Muppets' old studio to drill for oil.

That's not an inconceivable notion, there's a oil rig in the middle of Beverly Hill High School.

So, the gang has to get together and put on a telethon to raise 10 million dollars in three days to keep the property. Walter and his human friends Jason Segel and Amy Adams seek out Kermit, and the four of them hunt down the rest of the gang.

Every show biz cliche is here, and played for huge laughs. Fozzie Bear is found playing Reno with a backing band made up of what looks like escaped convicts, including a very hairy boar in drag standing in for Miss Piggy. Meanwhile, Miss Piggy is channeling Anna Wintour as the head of Paris Vogue, and is so successful, she is reluctant to return to her former life.

Some of it is so amazingly clever, I'm still laughing, like the chickens clucking a version of Cee Lo Green's hit single "Forget You," which started out as a song with lyrics so objectionable it had to be rewritten to be played on the radio.

The film was wonderful, full of song and dance numbers, written by one of the guys from Flight of the Conchords (the other one directed the movie). They shut down Hollywood Boulevard for two days filming in front of the El Capitan for the finale, which had me in tears.

Charlotte loved it, but I did get on her People-I'm-Not-Talking-To list because I shushed her once. She says very funny things, but sometimes forgets to whisper. She was very good, although she ended up spilling lemonade all over her shirt, unlike the baby crying intermittenly through the whole film. Just when I would get fed up enough to get an usher, the thing quit screaming.

I can't wait for something else to come out so I can go with Charlotte again. She doesn't know it yet, but she's getting a kid's camera for Christmas that also takes video, so soon she may be making her own films. I'm betting they'll be about bunnies.

Back-up Romeo performs well

Vittorio Grigolo and Nino Machaidze in LA Opera's  production of Romeo et Juliette.
 Grigolo was ill on Sunday, and  Charles Castronovo filled in.
LAtimes.com

I couldn't write this weekend, because I had family things to do, papers to grade, and an opera to see on Sunday. I shouldn't write now, I'm so far behind, but I can't help myself.

We were very excited about the opera, Gounod's Romeo et Juliette, with two emerging stars: Vittorio Grigolo and Nino Machaidze. There hasn't been so much buzz about this opera since Anna Netrebko and Rolando Villazon did it at the Dorothy Chandler in 2005.

Although I think anytime great voices paired with beauty come along, opera lovers go nuts. The days of 300-pound sopranos may be over, but chubby tenors and baritones are still with us. And let's face it, what are the statistical odds of someone amazingly hot also having a dynamite voice?

I saw the Villazon and Netrebko version, and was completely blown away. I walked out of the theater and over to the box office where I bought tickets for my kids, because I realized it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I've since seen them sing together in other operas like Manon and La Traviata, and their chemistry is so amazing, I would hate to be married to either one of them. They really make you believe not only in their love, but also in the power of love.

So there were high hopes for this new production, and the reviews were fantastic. There was praise for Machaidze's purity of tone, Gigolo's athleticism, and both their sex appeal. We saw Machaidze last season in A Turk in Italy, and were so impressed, we saw it again. She was great. But this pairing was not to be for us, as Grigolo was ill.

It was the culmination of a series of unfortunate events. It was raining so hard that the drive was quite scary, and all we wanted was to get to the plaza and have drinks and lunch at the Pinot Grill. The parking structure was full of people acting crazy, cutting us off, cutting in line, and one car with some defect that made it screech at high volume.

"A scotch and food, that's all I want," my husband said as we emerged from underground. We were greeted by the maitre de saying "We're closed." We have had lunch there before in fairly terrible weather, and so were mystified. Apparently, electrical things were shorting out, so he decided to close. We could buy sandwiches in the little store on the plaza, and were welcome to eat in the tent, he said.

My poor husband was emotionally drained by the drive and uncharacteristically grumpy. It was frustrating; we could see the alcohol on the bar, but we couldn't buy any. So we made do with ham and brie sandwiches, chili, and a couple of Newcastle ales, while listening to the rain pound on the tent. A couple of women who had just got in under the wire were eating salmon steaks next to us. It was galling.

We went to the prohibitively restaurant at ground-level and ordered drinks and coffee, which cheered us up a bit. In our seats, we settled in, only to have Placido Domingo come on stage. When you see Maestro before a production, it's never good, and this wasn't. Grigolo was ill, he said. "When you can't sing, you can't sing," he said with a shrug. "It happens to all of us."

Charles Castronovo

Maestro said that tenor Charles Castronovo, who had his breakout role in LA Opera's Il Postino, had been in town on Saturday for the company's anniversary celebration, and they had convinced him to stick around to fill in. He was very good, especially for stepping in at the last minute.

The bedroom scene was good, even though Machaidze left her nightgown on. When Netrebko did it, she started out naked. Even with the nightgown on, some teens sitting behind us were tittering at the sight of two nearly naked people rolling around in bed. I guess they live sheltered lives.

When I mentioned to one of my Russian students, Nino, that an opera singer had her same name and was from Georgia, she told me that it was the name of a famous Russian Orthodox saint who was born in that region.

Wags are calling Machaidze the "Angelina Jolie" of opera. She was as great as she had been last season, and as beautiful. Castronovo was not hard on the eyes, either. I'd still like to see Grigolo, so maybe we can go back. I mean, I've got to see a guy who is quoted as saying "Opera is like boxing or Formula One. It's dangerous."