Eggs, tantrums, and royal weddings

Charlotte's Easter basket

So the bunny with the gentle smile, and more candy than one should reasonably give a two-year-old awaits my granddaughter Charlotte today.

To be fair, there are also three books, so I am not completely giving the basket over to tooth-destroying sugar treats. Hey, she brushes with her Thomas the Tank Engine toothpaste and her Elmo toothbrush.

It seems strange to not be doing more for the holiday, but Lotte will stop by with her entourage to say "hi," pick up her basket, and be on her sugar-high way. And that's enough.

Charlotte at her second birthday party,
with her "Pincess Fog" cake.

I complained in print for years about wanting to kidnap other people's children for Easter egg hunts, egg-dyeing sessions, and frilly dress shopping. This year, although I have a granddaughter of my own, I am buried under a mountain of ungraded papers, a mother recovering from knee-replacement surgery, travel plans for my daughter's Rhode Island wedding, and my other daughter's problems with trying to give Charlotte a baby sister.

It was enough that I got to raid the Easter aisles and compile a basket for my blonde imp, although the last thing she needs is candy.

It feels like she has been a "terrible two" for years. The strong-willed behavior coupled with her increasing awareness of the unfairness of life has left us all exhausted, as she throws temper tantrum after another and refuses to nap.

But, oh, the sunny little smiles and heart-melting sweetness that come out after the stormy behavior, make up for her outbursts (I think). She is very solicitous and worried about other people ("What's wrong, Mom Mom?" she asks), and genuinely wants to help.

Prince William and Kate Middleton. 

This spring is a crazy time. We have another royal wedding this week, and everyone is waxing nostalgic about Prince Charles and Lady Diana, reflecting on the marriage that began with such promise and ended tragically. Actually, as we know now, Charles stood at the altar professing undying love and devotion to his socially suitable bride while he was in love with someone else less suitable. 

Speaking of Camila, have you seen the Graham Norton promos for the royal wedding? Hysterical! He says that Camila has already picked out the frock for the nuptials, a lovely blue off-the-shoulder number, and then shows a racehorse wearing a blue blanket.

It's mean, yes, since Camila can't help not being as pretty as Diana, but that's what she gets.

So Charles and Di were doomed from the start, which hopefully will not be the case with Prince William and Kate. I'm not as heavily invested in this, since it's like other people's children getting married, but I may DVR it.

I got up in the middle of the night last time in my San Francisco apartment, drinking endless cups of coffee and participating in the communal flush that dropped water tables all around the globe. Now I shudder when I look at Diana's dress. It was so 80s.

For a look inside a not-quite-arranged marriage, but a instance of someone marrying up the social ladder, read "Snobs," by Julian Fellowes. He's the man who wrote "Gosford Park" and "Downton Abbey," and his description of the in's and out's of the British aristocracy will make you even more grateful you are an American.

I heard on NPR that between 1890 and 1910, forty percent of the English aristocracy married rich American heiresses in order to shore up crumbling estates and family bank accounts, since any fortune a single woman had went to her husband.

A key plot point in "Downton Abbey" is that the American's wife's money is getting entailed away from her children to some distant cousin of her husband, thanks to the byzantine British inheritance laws.

These daughters of Astors and Vanderbilts and other hyper-wealthy American industrialists were called "dollar princesses" and included Diana Spencer's great grandmother, Frances Work.

I was saying last week that I believe that if Princess Di had lived, Elton John would have asked her to be the godmother of his new baby, and yesterday, I found out who the real godmother is: Lady GaGa. Elton said that under all the make-up and crazy outfits is a plain girl who loves her mother and dad.

Elton and his partner are of course, invited to the royal wedding. And speaking of Elton John.....

Elton who????