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| Mary Ellen Ianni at Filoli Gardens in Woodside, CA. She is an avid nature photographer. |
My biggest fan is turning 80 this week.
I met Mary Ellen Ianni sometime in 1980. At that time, she was my employee's mother. I hired her daughter Beth to work in my chain record store when she was in college. As time went on, Beth became not only my employee, but my friend, and Mary Ellen progressed from being Beth's mother to my friend, as well.
Beth says her mom liked me right off, which wasn't the case with everyone, apparently. If Mary Ellen didn't like you, you'd never know, because she is a proper lady. She has a sweet demeanor, and the zen-like-patience-wrapped-around-a-rock-solid-core of an elementary-school teacher, which she was for 34 years. Thankfully, I've never seen her angry, but I pity any little boy who tested her resolve.
When I gave birth to my first daughter, Beth was one of her first babysitters. I'm sure her roommates in the San Francisco State dorm appreciated my squalling child interfering with their Friday night partying. After that, Beth and her family were part of my family's landscape. Any trip to San Francisco wasn't complete without dinner with Mary Ellen and her husband, Lawrence, known to his friends as "Poe."
Mary Ellen and Poe met at Clarion State Teachers College in Pennsylvania, where they both worked in the dining center. She was a waitress and he a dishwasher. It wasn't exactly love at first sight. Well, on her part, anyway. Mary Ellen thought he was "awful," and couldn't understand why so many other people liked him. He was garrulous and loud.
Poe, on the other hand, considered Mary Ellen the "perfect combination of pretty and nice." In one of my favorite stories about them, Poe spent all his textbook money taking her out for pie, and then had to do his homework in the library with books his professors put on reserve. Nice to know he had his priorities straight.
I asked Beth how he finally won her over, and she said, "I'm sure there was persistence involved: he must have taken it gentle and slow." That cracks me up; it sounds like he was coaxing some woodland creature out of the underbrush.
They dated for two years before they got married, and will celebrate their 60th anniversary next year. It was telling that when Beth looked for photos for this blog, it was difficult to find photos of Mary Ellen alone. There were only shots of them as a couple.
They moved to California when Poe got a job as provost at San Francisco State, and Mary Ellen taught in the education department. By now he was a Phd, and she had an MA in Education from Indiana University of Pennsylvania.
Indiana, PA, by the way, is the hometown of Jimmy Stewart, one of my favorite actors. When Mary Ellen gave birth to Beth, Stewart was in the hospital visiting his father down the hall. He was signing autographs by the elevator where she was taking a stroll, and when the throng dispersed, he asked her if she wanted one. "No, thank you," she said, and later he popped his head into her room to say "hello" to the woman who was so cool in the face of fame.
She is always cool, calm and collected. The first earthquake kit I ever saw was in Beth's car. Mary Ellen is the queen of preparing for any eventuality, and she had emergency kits everywhere.
Apparently, she researched every aspect before they bought the house in San Bruno. Mary Ellen considered flood plain maps, seismic activity charts, and weather reports.
When my children came to San Francisco to attend college, she made sure that each of them had an index card with her name, address and phone number, as well as their own, in case of emergency.
Both of my kids stayed with Beth at one time or another during their transitions to school.
I was always rather in awe of Mary Ellen and Poe, probably because of their education. Although my love is English literature, and his American, I loved to talk books with him. And he had great stories about the 1960s protests when students were taking over the administrative offices, and his colleague S. I. Hayakawa. When I started teaching college English, Poe gave me a stack of his books, which I treasure.
I always craved Mary Ellen's approval. Years ago when my kids were young, I had an idea for travel books that included guided tours on cassette that I discussed with Mary Ellen. I never pursued it, but I was happy she thought it was a good idea, and now such things exist on CD.
When I started writing the column, I used to send a month's worth of clippings at a time to Mary Ellen in a manila envelope. When I went to grad school, things got crazy, and I gradually stopped. She never complained, but I know she was sorry to not receive them anymore. So when I took the column online, I was happy that finally she would be able to read me on Sundays, like everyone else.
After 10 years of teaching at SF State, Mary Ellen retired when Poe got the top job at University of Minnesota at Duluth. Now they are both retired at home in California, and she spends her time quilting, doing nature photography, and traveling. She has been active in the Philanthropic Education Organization.
According to Beth, Mary Ellen gave her "the greatest childhood anyone could wish for. My childhood has lasted 50 years." This weekend, friends and family will gather to honor her on her 80th birthday at a Bay Area hotel. It was supposed to be a surprise, but Poe didn't want to make any decisions without her, so he had to break down and tell her, offering her a choice of menus.
I wish I could be at the party, but my new semester starts on Tuesday, and I know the birthday girl understands about writing syllabi and doing class prep. So I sent her a small gift, and wrote this unworthy tribute.
Many happy returns of the day, Mary Ellen!
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| Lawrence and Mary Ellen Ianni at a dance in 1950. |
Poe, on the other hand, considered Mary Ellen the "perfect combination of pretty and nice." In one of my favorite stories about them, Poe spent all his textbook money taking her out for pie, and then had to do his homework in the library with books his professors put on reserve. Nice to know he had his priorities straight.
I asked Beth how he finally won her over, and she said, "I'm sure there was persistence involved: he must have taken it gentle and slow." That cracks me up; it sounds like he was coaxing some woodland creature out of the underbrush.
They dated for two years before they got married, and will celebrate their 60th anniversary next year. It was telling that when Beth looked for photos for this blog, it was difficult to find photos of Mary Ellen alone. There were only shots of them as a couple.
They moved to California when Poe got a job as provost at San Francisco State, and Mary Ellen taught in the education department. By now he was a Phd, and she had an MA in Education from Indiana University of Pennsylvania.
Indiana, PA, by the way, is the hometown of Jimmy Stewart, one of my favorite actors. When Mary Ellen gave birth to Beth, Stewart was in the hospital visiting his father down the hall. He was signing autographs by the elevator where she was taking a stroll, and when the throng dispersed, he asked her if she wanted one. "No, thank you," she said, and later he popped his head into her room to say "hello" to the woman who was so cool in the face of fame.
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| Mary Ellen and Poe in 1990. |
Apparently, she researched every aspect before they bought the house in San Bruno. Mary Ellen considered flood plain maps, seismic activity charts, and weather reports.
When my children came to San Francisco to attend college, she made sure that each of them had an index card with her name, address and phone number, as well as their own, in case of emergency.
Both of my kids stayed with Beth at one time or another during their transitions to school.
I was always rather in awe of Mary Ellen and Poe, probably because of their education. Although my love is English literature, and his American, I loved to talk books with him. And he had great stories about the 1960s protests when students were taking over the administrative offices, and his colleague S. I. Hayakawa. When I started teaching college English, Poe gave me a stack of his books, which I treasure.
I always craved Mary Ellen's approval. Years ago when my kids were young, I had an idea for travel books that included guided tours on cassette that I discussed with Mary Ellen. I never pursued it, but I was happy she thought it was a good idea, and now such things exist on CD.
When I started writing the column, I used to send a month's worth of clippings at a time to Mary Ellen in a manila envelope. When I went to grad school, things got crazy, and I gradually stopped. She never complained, but I know she was sorry to not receive them anymore. So when I took the column online, I was happy that finally she would be able to read me on Sundays, like everyone else.
After 10 years of teaching at SF State, Mary Ellen retired when Poe got the top job at University of Minnesota at Duluth. Now they are both retired at home in California, and she spends her time quilting, doing nature photography, and traveling. She has been active in the Philanthropic Education Organization.
According to Beth, Mary Ellen gave her "the greatest childhood anyone could wish for. My childhood has lasted 50 years." This weekend, friends and family will gather to honor her on her 80th birthday at a Bay Area hotel. It was supposed to be a surprise, but Poe didn't want to make any decisions without her, so he had to break down and tell her, offering her a choice of menus.
I wish I could be at the party, but my new semester starts on Tuesday, and I know the birthday girl understands about writing syllabi and doing class prep. So I sent her a small gift, and wrote this unworthy tribute.
Many happy returns of the day, Mary Ellen!
 |
| At my October 2, 2010 wedding. From left, are Becky and Charles MacQuarrie, Jim, me, Brenna Humann, Bill Schiller, baby Fiona, Poe and Mary Ellen. |
