You say want a revolution?

My new iPhone with a Disney Princess Dress Up Sticker app
 I bought to entertain my granddaughter Charlotte. In case you are wondering,
that's an Alice in Wonderland pepper shaker it's leaning on. 

I finally got an iPhone a few weeks ago.

Because of my history as an early adopter and Mac fanatic, my children think I run out and buy whatever the latest gadget is, but actually, I am restrained by finances.

In the case of the iPhone, I was restrained by hatred of AT&T. I had just escaped their nefarious, money-grubbing clutches when it was announced that they would have exclusive rights to Apple's newest toy. I was heartbroken, but even my lust for the iPhone wouldn't make me go back to them.

My Samsung Intercept that I was happy with,
except that I longed for an iPhone.

I had Sprint, and got along with my iPhone wannabe Android Samsung Intercept. It was sleek and black, had a slide out keyboard that I really liked, and I could get many of the same applications that the iPhone could. The screen stuck sometimes, and I had to return it (twice), but basically I had a decent smartphone experience.

When Sprint finally got the iPhone, I reserved mine the day it was announced. I got the iPhone 4, not the new 4S, because I may be a Mac acolyte, but I realize they are not infallible. And sure enough, Apple is having to provide a patch because the 4S is having a battery life issue.

There's been a lot of talk about Apple at our house, because my husband and I are both reading Steve Jobs' biography by Walter Isaacson. I really wanted it, but I was afraid of being mocked, since everyone knows about my Mac obsession. But when Jim mentioned buying it for the Kindle, I asked that he put it on mine, so I could read it simultaneously on my iPhone.

The book stays in the Cloud, so we both can access it. I just have to say "no" when the app tries to take me to the furtherest page read (my husband is way ahead of me). It's fun; we read parts aloud to one another, laugh at Job's audacity and hubris, and reminisce about our iMacs, MacBooks and iPods.

I had an Apple IIe, so I've been along for the ride practically from the beginning. Apple was big in the schools, and they offered special financing for teachers. That first machine did very little. We could use it as a word processor, make banners (great for classrooms!), and play a few text-based games.

When the Macintosh came out in 1984, we got it, with the new 3 1/2  inch (hard) floppy discs that you had to swap back and forth while playing some games, because they held so little information. Later, about 1989, we used Prodigy and America On Line to connect to the internet at a whopping 14.4K baud rate over our telephone line.

We lived in Lake Los Angeles, and our connection point was in Bakersfield, a toll call. Those were some hefty bills before we realized we had to limit our online time. The problem was, that at 14.4 everything took a million years to download.

My blue iMac in the late 90s had only two ISB ports, meaning I had to buy a hub to dock my PalmPilot. I'm still bitter about that.

I didn't know much about Steve Jobs in the 80s, but I did know about Steve Wozniak, because in 1982 he dropped millions of his own money into the US Festival rock concert, at the site which became Blockbuster Pavilion.

When I took an honors art history class in college, we were supposed to take an historical art period and update it. I thought about how Byzantine Christians used arcane symbols in art to identify one another surreptiously, and how the symbols in an Apple computer did the opposite: they were intended to be open and welcoming to the non-geek computer user, and make true believers out of them.

So I rendered Steve Wozniak as a Byzantine saint with the border being Apple symbols, like the trashcan and the FileServer, a hand holding a tray with a file folder on it. It was a poster-size board with torn-up magazine bits standing in for tessarae. In the accompanying paper, I noted that Apple's mailing list was called the EvangeList, and that Wozniak was referred to as St. Woz.

After reading the book, I see why he got that name. Woz didn't really care too much about money, he just liked to "make cool shit." After Jobs screwed over co-workers at the IPO who had been with the two Steves from the start, Woz spread his stock options to all the employees, so that most of them made enough money to buy houses. He comes off as a big, sweet teddy-bear of a man, who just loved being a part of something great.

I kind of feel sorry for kids today, who have never known a time without computers. It feels like we were really witness to a revolution, and it was a heady, exciting time. I remember television commercials for a training school in the late 1960s talking about how computers were the future, back when they took up an entire room and were operated with punch cards. Here's a scene from Danny Kaye's Man From The Diner's Club from 1963. At 7:25, you can see the huge mainframe behind him. There's a hysterical scene later on when the punch cards go insane, but I could't find it on the web.

I scoffed at the time, but now computers have changed practically every aspect of our lives.

I thought I was happy with my Android smartphone, but when I got my iPhone I experienced the difference, and it was palpable. I missed my keyboard at first, but the auto correct feature on texting is rapidly making me forget my QWERTY keys. There are apps that are made only for Apple products, and my first download was a Disney game for Charlotte.

Now, I have ordered an iPhone for my husband, who has been making do with a three-year-old flip-phone. I really don't care what we have to pay to extricate himself from his T-Mobile contract. Because now that I've witnessed the difference, how can I let my loving husband do with less? When I have filet mignon, how can I let him have hamburger? It ain't right.

Entertainment note


Some time back, I saw the hilarious show, Menopause the Musical, at the Lancaster Performing Arts Center. I was skeptical, because frankly, I don't think there is one damn thing funny about menopause. I suffered mighttily from hot flashes and still carry a fan with me, like some latter-day Scarlett O'Hara. But the show won me over, with its new lyrics to classic Baby Boomer favorites, like Motown and the Beach Boys, poking fun at night sweats, hot flashes and other menopause maladies.

The show is making another appearance, this time in a concert form, minus the sets, at LPAC on Tuesday, Nov. 8 at 7:30 p.m. That's election night, so some local pols might be needing solace, and this rollicking show could be just the thing. Tickets are $35, and can be purchased at the box office. Call (661) 723-5950 or visit www.LPAC.org.

There's a Two for One special going on, so if you call LPAC and give the secret word BOGO, you and a friend can have a night out for the price on one ticket.